Ugh . . . so I’m a little paranoid

Sometimes I just get on my nerves.  I do silly things based on the non-sensible thoughts that flutter through my head.  Now is one of those times. I’m not sure why I’m not doing what I started doing with this blog.

This blog started as a 30-day challenge between my sister and I.  The stakes were high between us but once the challenge was over we thought we’d keep to the habit of writing and would keep the blogs as a simple real-time way to keep up with family and friends.   I never thought anybody other than my family and a smear of folks I would consider good friends would be interested in anything I threw into cyberspace.  Even then I thought they read what I posted out of love and kindness.  Yet when I started getting readership and subscribers other than family and friends I froze.  When Word Press showed me that I had readers in the Philipines, Germany, United Kingdom, India . . . I became paralyzed.  When some of these readers started subscribing and writing comments – I hid. . .  I’m sorry.  I’m a little bit immature and a whole lot of paranoid.

It’s not personal.  It’s just now I feel there is expectation.  A responsibility.  I can’t possibly throw out the nonsense I bemuse those closest to me with.  . . people are watching! Oh my gosh – what will people who don’t know me think of me?  People who know me understand, usually, what goes on in my life.  But strangers?!  Oh dear, there’s a picture on here of me in my pajamas, and rain boots picking up worms with chopsticks!!!  Do padded white trucks still pick people up and take them away for ‘rest’ in the mental hospitals?

I hope not.

But something’s changed.    I have a new BFF.  She’s fearless and bold.  She freely admits that she’s a work in progress and is so open about her journey.  She doesn’t fit the mold.  She’s comfortable where she’s at and is proud of her accomplishments.  She’s such an inspiration and best of all – we have SO much in common.   I actually think we may have been separated at birth. I’ve always wanted a twin!  How in this cosmic order could we not have known each other?!

We have a lot of the same interests (She loves thrifting loves to re-purpose and seems to accidentally collect books – perhaps because she’s so interested in life and learning new things!); we have many of the same hobbies, and struggle with many of the same demons (weight loss, organization and aforementioned book collecting problem!).  We’ve even traveled through many of the same books and I’m looking forward to reading a book she recommends on her site, it seems like it’ll be right up my alley.

She’s a mom in pursuit of becoming a better person for her children and has taken to the blog world to help her stay accountable to her goals.  The most amazing thing about it all, we met on Pinterest – what can’t you find on Pinterest?!   Well, not really.  I met her on Pinterest – she doesn’t know I exist.  She just happened to pin some homeplanner pages that she uses to get organized, stay focused and get things done (all the things I’m interested in!) and was sharing it with the pinterest world.  BUT since I’ve known about her she’s been a formidable presence in my days.  She’s been somebody out in cyberspace that I know is struggling with goal setting and working hard at meeting her goals.  She’s breath of fresh air, a good dose of real and a hearty blend of transparency and honesty.   I’ve subscribed to her blog and just recently she asked her readers, what we’d be interested in reading.  She knows I’m/we’re here and isn’t a shrinking violet – she’s actually trying to engage her readership.

I ‘m just so thrilled to have ‘met’ her.  I’m thrilled for her successes, I’m excited for her journey.  I can’t wait for her to get to where she wants.  I’m definitely out here in cyber space cheering her on!  She’s been such an inspiration.  My planner is more workable; I’ve got a new plan for my weight loss journey (starting tomorrow, of course.  Tonight, Cowboy’s making ‘ Better Then Roy Rogers Strawberry Shortcakes!).

Warrior Princess and Her Shortcake

I’m back to de-cluttering, I have a new fail proof, go-to dish that is phenomenal, filling and healthy, and this blog is back up.   I don’t know if I can go the distance of fusing together my instagram and Facebook accounts to this blog, as my new BFF has, but I’m starting somewhere (she’s all about starting somewhere/anywhere – just start! I like that).

So much has happened since my last post, all of which I plan to blog about:

  •  I went back on Facebook and just as I was learning how to maximize its value – I was locked out. Now I’m just not sure what to do about it.
  • My little sister and her family moved to town!!  Yes THAT little sister who started this whole blog thing. Tomorrow we’re starting Jillian Michael’s 30-Day-Shred, I wonder if she’d be up to taking before pictures for my blog?  Considering this whole thing was her idea, I think she should be an eager contributor – I’ll check with her tomorrow.
  • We lost a very dear and near family member in our tribe.  I’m not sure I can even write about him, though I am more motivated now to finish his portrait than ever before.
  • As for the Natives, Spitfire has a job, he’s bugging for his learner’s permit and is teaching himself the fine art of knife making.
  • Squirrel continues with his studies and has set his sights on passing SpitFire in his math level.  He loves to make computer games, animations and directing home movies with Chief as his main actor.
  • Over the summer Chief learned how to ride his bike and how to swim.  Now he’s learning how to read.
  • The Warrior Princess – I can’t believe how much fun she is!  She is my cherry on top.  She’s a recent potty-trained graduate and she just LOVES so many things!  Like Masha and the Bear, wrestling,  (whoever, whenever and has a pretty killer swing!), she loves lipstick, nail polish, her pink cowboy boots and hello Kitty.  She loves her baby dolls  and has me doing what I’ve never ever done before braiding hair and  playing with dolls and making sure they’re diapered before leaving the house.  She absolutely adores her daddy.  I never could have imagined a little girl like her before.  Everyday with her is a special treat.
  • Cowboy – Had I married anybody other than Cowboy,  I know I’d be divorced twice over!  Since my last post, Cowboy has made me a vegetable garden, perfected the crepe, and has redefined the chopped salad.  He has taught his boys the art of grilling a perfect steak, has made us lose our love for eating out (nothing compares to what he can throw together in the kitchen ), he has taught himself the fine art of building Adirondack chairs, and best of all he built Grammy a house!  We really, really  miss her and would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to have her in such close proximity.   The Natives have taken a special interest on how Grammy can travel to and from her house to ours (clue:  I think it involves a fireman’s pole and a zipline?!).  We know she’ll miss her family and friends so staying in touch will be critical for her happiness and well-being.  Fortunately, just this evening, I was researching homing pigeons.  I think it will be the creme-de-la-creme in selling her on this idea for her new abode.  We hope she likes it!

Now this must go out.  But in true Shaunta style,  I must send it out without pictures.  Adding pictures to all this might set this post back another month. (Although I might have picture tomorrow of my little sister’s before shots  – we’ll keep our fingers crossed).    Thanks for hanging in there, my goal is to post, at least,  once a week.  No, there are no menacing shameful pictures to shame me into doing this, just the inspiration of one woman doing it herself – thanks, Shaunta!


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