There was a new man in my life. One that was going to help me achieve my BIG plans this summer. The time was right, the excuses were tired and worn out. I knew what I wanted, and how to do it and this was the man who was going to help me do it. This was going to be the summer that I was going to get into shape. Cowboy even setup the garage for me so that I could have uninterrupted time with my trainer.
I so wanted to succeed and make my trainer proud that I even cleaned up my diet! I was mostly eating raw foods, and juicing.
I’d cut out bread, and sweets were far and few in-between. I’d finally discovered the secret to my success – smiley faces!
On my calendar I would reward myself with green smiley faces for days that I worked out, double green smiley faces for days I worked out and ate right and red devil faces when I fell off the wagon in either working out or not eating right. Seeing a week of green smiley faces was my motivator. It is UNBELIEVABLE what I would do to earn those green faces! There’s a reason why Tony gets paid the big bucks – he knows what he’s doing. He is one tough task master with an unnatural obsession with push ups, squats and lunges. Still, there was something about him that made him easy to trust. He made me think that he believed in me. Then the miraculous really happened I started to believe in me too!
Where as I’d never been good at push ups, Tony had me doing BOY push ups! I’d always blamed my bad hips and creaky knees for not doing squats or lunges, but since Tony couldn’t hear my complaining, he had me doing 100’s of both! I never knew I had triceps – Tony on the other hand knew they were there and challenged me to do dips (very unpleasant). I was doing Power90, which I think is the boot camp to prepare for the P90X. I was looking forward to getting to the P90X and starting Shakeology over the summer where I’d heard, read and seen the real magic happen.
Still where I was at my energy level was so much greater that I was incorporating a kettle bell class from the JCC (which NEVER would have been possible prior to Tony’s training!).
Tony’s influence in our home was so contagious that Cowboy started to feel the need to move. Perhaps it was my constant quoting of “Tonyisms” combined with my research of what Tony would and wouldn’t eat (” Are you sure you want to eat that?! Tony wouldn’t eat Spam. As a matter of fact”,I’d tell Cowboy, ” Tony says that the worst thing you can put in your body is processed meat!”; “you can’t have a superior body like Tony if you don’t move” ; or “I’m sure Tony wouldn’t eat a Big Mac and try to justify it with a diet coke.”) .
Regardless, we got new running shoes and were getting to the track at night. I lost 10 lbs. in 6 weeks!! That came after 12 weeks of trusting the process. Of meeting with Tony and trying to keep up, and adjusting my diet. When the smiley faces came into the picture my false starts ended and everything fell into place. With quantifiable results, my change in attitude I was feeling invincible!
But as one of my favorite Bible verses tells me, man rolls the dice, God determines how it lands. My plans were seriously derailed. My energy level plummeted. My mood was horrible. My attitude worse. I accused Cowboy of sabotage, and jealousy. I lost my mind for a bit and all I could do was lay in bed. Had I been Cowboy I might have been tempted to have me committed. But Cowboy, in his calm, loving and knowing way sedated the beast I’d become by setting up our bedroom with a TV and a ROKU. In an instant Tony was replaced with Netflix’s endless well of mind-numbing entertainment.
and it’s all because of this little one!
We’re onto another adventure, written, directed and decided by the Lord of Creation! I’m currently 13-14 weeks pregnant, my moods are much better, I’m not exhausted all the time, and I’ve apologized to all whom I’ve offended (Cowboy). Last week I had the great privilege of ‘meeting’ our baby via sonogram and he/she made me regret all the selfish feelings I’d been wallowing in for the past 12 weeks. I saw the baby turning flips, stretching out his/her little arms, waving one hand then the other, rolling over showing me it’s butt, then flipping back over and stretching out. In a breath,
my shattered heart over my broken plans were healed. In that moment I had a hope for something greater than a shrinking dress size, and obnoxiously big belt buckles.
I was lost in love with this new baby. I’m not a weepy person, but I cried when I saw him/her. I think sonogram technology is getting better because in that moment I saw this little persons full personality and how he/she’s ready to claim his/her place in our tribe. I was ashamed of myself for feeling so ‘righteously’ selfish. Instead I was humbled and felt gratitude.
I’m looking forward to meeting this little person. Tony, I’m sure, will be waiting for me. For now I’m being called to be part of something bigger and greater than I could have ever imagined or dared to plan.