Confessions . . .

It’s true.  I lack discipline.  My self-image does not include a person who is bound by structure or limited by the confines of regulations and rules.  I’m a rebel!  A free-spirit and  . . . 100% unrealistic in my expectations.  Of all the things I want to accomplish, I won’t be able to do without some level of discipline.  This has been a recent discovery for me.
I want a rock-hard body
but my lack of discipline makes me soft, squishy, misshapen and more like
the Marshmallow Man.   Trying to dress this is depressing and impossible.
I want a huge savings account,
 but my lack of discipline causes me to spend our money on frivolous, unnecessary, and impulsive things. . .
like a $25 crocheted monkey. . . a cruel prize for getting carried away on ebay.
Regardless, I thought blogging would kind of help keep me structured.  A fun way to keep in touch, but alas . . . my lack of discipline causes me to stray and indulge in my latest interest
Oh, MY! It’s like reading the best magazine in the world!!  Not just that but you can make your own “pinterest” and follow the ones you like (more on this later)!  Yet I digress – discipline . . . that’s the topic at hand.
My lack of discipline causes my family to suffer.  It fills me with anxiety, stress and  it exposes us to constantly playing catch-up.  I procrastinate, lose focus, and start something else.  It creates a harried frazzled environment for my husband, it teaches my boys to not plan, take others for granted, and to lead a self-absorbed life.  My unfinished projects make me feel defeated, overwhelmed and it teaches my boys that it’s ok to not finish what you start –  surely not what I want!  What’s worse than all that are the excuses I can conjure up.  Legitimate yes,  but when they’re the same ones over and over again, annoying.  My inadequacies bore me.  The bottom line being: it all makes me feel like a flake.  So here it is.  I feel like I’m being “grown” again.  If I want my boys to be successful, trustworthy, reliable, honorable, then I have to lead by example.   I know it’s for the better, but it won’t be easy.
I think I’ll start here, and regularly blog.  Forgive any bumps in the road when I miss a couple of  days/weeks (hoping not months!), hard habits are hard to break.  BUT my hope is that little by little, I’ll be able to change my patterns, change my behavior and become  high-producing, efficient and reliable.  I think I’ll accomplish more, enjoy my life more and have more fun.   Eventually . . . possibly even working my way toward a  “rock hard” bod that I will enjoy dressing and adorning!
What do you think – are you feeling the need for a more disciplined life?

2 thoughts on “Confessions . . .

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